Making Life Work: Avoiding Adultery

Preached on 10.5.08 by Dustin Neeley
Sermon Notes

20 My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and forsake not your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them on your heart always;
tie them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will lead you;
when you lie down, they will watch over you;
and when you awake, they will talk with you.
23 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light,
and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,
24 to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. 25 Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;
26 for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life.
27 Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
28 Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
29 So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished.
30 People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
31 but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house.
32 He who commits adultery lacks sense;
he who does it destroys himself.
33 He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away.
34 For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge.
35 He will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts. Proverbs 6:20-35 ESV

P: Instruction about sexuality should begin in the home.

Adultery:

1. Is dangerous.
2. Its destruction is inevitable.
3. Is foolish.
4. Is unbelievably costly.

“Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched? Proverbs 6:27-28 ESV

Do I see and feel the danger of adultery and what it can do?

7:1 My son, keep my words
and treasure up my commandments with you;
2 keep my commandments and live;
keep my teaching as the apple of your eye;
3 bind them on your fingers;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
and call insight your intimate friend,
5 to keep you from the forbidden woman,
from the adulteress with her smooth words. 6 For at the window of my house
I have looked out through my lattice,
7 and I have seen among the simple,
I have perceived among the youths,
a young man lacking sense,
8 passing along the street near her corner,
taking the road to her house
9 in the twilight, in the evening,
at the time of night and darkness. 10 And behold, the woman meets him,
dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. 11 She is loud and wayward;
her feet do not stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the market,
and at every corner she lies in wait.
13 She seizes him and kisses him,
and with bold face she says to him,
14 “I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows;
15 so now I have come out to meet you,
to seek you eagerly, and I have found you.
16 I have spread my couch with coverings,
colored linens from Egyptian linen;
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh,
aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love till morning;
let us delight ourselves with love.
19 For my husband is not at home;
he has gone on a long journey;
20 he took a bag of money with him;
at full moon he will come home.” 21 With much seductive speech she persuades him;
with her smooth talk she compels him.
22 All at once he follows her,
as an ox goes to the slaughter,
or as a stag is caught fast 23 till an arrow pierces its liver;
as a bird rushes into a snare;
he does not know that it will cost him his life. 24 And now, O sons, listen to me,
and be attentive to the words of my mouth.
25 Let not your heart turn aside to her ways;
do not stray into her paths,
26 for many a victim has she laid low,
and all her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is the way to Sheol,
going down to the chambers of death. Proverbs 7:1-27 ESV

v. 1-5 This teaching is intended to keep the hearer out of the arms of the adulteress. “and live”—which also seems to ignore them would lead to death.
v.6-7 She has been watching for this man. He is an easy target—a ‘simple fool.’
v.8-9 He is going by her place and at the worst possible time!
v.10-13 Notice who she is and how she works.
v.14-15 She tells lies and feigns religious interest.
v. 16-18, 21 She speaks sweetly to him with ‘Song of Solomon’ language.
v. 19-20 She promises him safety and no consequences.
v.22-23 He is caught. It costs him his life.
v.24-27 Strong warning because destruction lies with her.

How This Happens to Us:

1. We don’t have to go looking for sexual sin. It is already looking for us.
2. We often put ourselves in situations like the simple fool in this story.
   • We get alone. We don’t take precautions. We put ourselves in situations where we can make mistakes. Gradual. Even accidental.
   • Men: Primarily physical. Porn/inappropriate activity. Not exclusively. Women: Primarily emotional. Though not exclusively.
3. Adultery comes to us with her enticing temptation and offer of safety.
4. It often happens gradually, sometimes without our even knowing.
5. We step out and suffer the consequences.

How am I easing onto the slippery slope in any way? (Think carefully).

How Do We Avoid It? : Go on the Offensive Against It.

1. See and feel the weight of the Scriptures as they speak of adultery.
   • Allow this drive us to the Cross and our deep need for Jesus.
2. Recognize where adultery is really coming from—the heart (Matt. 15:19).
3. Pray that God would create in us a greater love for Jesus hatred for sin.
4. Be preemptive in regard to our enemy and your own flesh.
   • Make no provision for your flesh (Rom. 13:14)
     • Filters for your computer.
     • Be very mindful of your relationships and behavior.
     • Have others speaking into your life on this issue—praying, asking hard questions, supporting, etc.
     • Learn the ‘bounce.’ Men: Eyes. Women: Minds.
   • Single: Walk closely in community. Pray. Support. Accountable.
   • Married: One of the best protections we can have against adultery is strong marriage and healthy intimate life. Pray and work toward Prov. 5.
   • With children: Create a culture of open communication in regard to this, and all other, issues.
5. If you are already ensnared, get help. We can help.

What is God saying to me about this issue?

Works Consulted : Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Life Application Bible, MacArthur Study Bible, Messages by Tim Keller, Darrin Patrick