Colossians: Gospel House Rules, Part 3 – Children and Parents

Preached on 6.21.09 by Dustin Neeley
Sermon Notes

²⁰ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.  ²¹ Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Colossians 3:20-21

Understanding the Text:

Overview: Paul is describing how “Gospel Activity” plays out in the specific relationships in the home-husband/wife and parents/children.

 

• “Children…”    Counter-cultural. Children would have been treated worse than women.
• “…obey…” A readiness to hear and carry out orders. To be the rule, not the exception.
• “…your parents…”             The scope of the obedience.
• “…in everything…”               Presupposing Christian home. Qual. by obedience to God.
• “…for this pleases the Lord…”             Obedient children please God. Same as Eph. 6.
• “Fathers…”             Could also be translated ‘parents.’ Even if not, no slight to mothers.
• “…do not provoke your children…”  Don’t frustrate them through a poor use of authority.
•  ”…lest they become discouraged.”            The by-product of parental provocation.

How Do We Do This?

Figure out where you are in light of this text.

1. Children and Parents: Become a Christian. Turn and trust.
2. Children: How would you rate your obedience? (Ask your parents.) Why are you disobeying them? Simply sin? Lack of trust?
3. Parents: How would rate your parenting in regard to this command? “Am I provoking and discouraging my children?”
   • Usually by being “too hard” or “too soft.”

Pursue change by depending upon God, applying the Gospel, and taking the practical steps necessary to address the issues in your home.

Applying the Gospel to yourself:

1. Sin: “I am too hard on my kids.”
   • Sin behind the sin:
   • “I am defining myself by my parenting.” Pride, Idolatry of status as a “good parent.”
   • “I get more upset about them disobeying me than God.” Control.
2. Sin: “I am too soft on my kids.”
   • Sin behind the sin:
   • “I want my kids to like me more than I want to obey God.” Misplaced Identity, Fear of Man.
   • “Being a good, balanced parent takes effort. I’m too tired.” Self, Laziness.

Applying the Gospel to your parenting:

1. Understand your children’s greatest need-to know and grow in Jesus.
   • Good parenting is a vital part of that process.
2. Transform your home into a “Gospel Greenhouse.”
   • Everything points back to Jesus and the Gospel.
3. Cast the vision for the kind of family we want to be-a Gospel family.
   • Dad leads, Mom follows, Children obey. We all apply the Gospel.
4. Lead with encouragement & celebrate the evidences of grace in your home.
   • Affirm who your children are & are becoming by God’s grace.
   • Catch your kids being good, celebrate it and praise God for it.
5. Discipline your children rightly, consistently, with the Gospel always in view.
   • Discipline your children…
     •  An undisciplined child is a provoked child.
   • …rightly…
   •  
     • From a heart of redemption, not retribution.
   •  
     • The goal is correction and training in Gospel-centered godliness.
   •  
     • Always recasting the family vision and talking about the heart.
   •  
     • Teaching truth: Disobedience always leads to discipline.
   • …consistently…
   •  
     • Inconsistency in discipline is frustrating/discouraging to a child.
   •  
     • Temporal: Obeying you is obeying God (Remember this text).           
   •  
     • Eternal: Parenting well is a command from God.
   •  
     • But be careful to not overcorrect. Talk about this with your spouse.
   • …with the Gospel in view.
   •  
     • Always pointing to Jesus as our Payment, our Pattern, and our Power both for our children and ourselves.
     • We repent to God and our kids when we get it wrong.  

 

No matter where we find ourselves today, the Good News of the Gospel is that there IS hopeand that we CAN change.

Works Consulted: Expositor’s Commentary, NIV Application Commentary, Life Application Bible, MacArthur Study Bible, ESV Study Bible, Works by Chip Ingram